Friday, January 7, 2011


Dave and I had a some quiet time tonight, which is actually quite unusual.  He gets home from work between 5-6pm, and he devotes most of his time to the kids... they talk about their day at school with him, Dave and Christopher will go outside and toss the ball around, Megan will sit with Dave and color or put together a puzzle, etc.  We eat dinner.  Megan is in bed by 7:30.  And then Dave helps Christopher with homework, which usually takes a couple of hours.  I don't get time with Dave until sometime after 10pm, which is just about the time when he's so exhausted, he can barely keep his eyes open.  So for us to get some quiet time this evening was really nice.


I think I've mentioned once or twice (*snort*) about how nervous and anxious I've been feeling over his retirement.  Serious anxiety.  And I've been really struggling with my depression, to the point that my Psychiatrist wants to adjust and increase my meds.  (I know this is news for some of you... I battle depression.  I am clinically depressed, am on anti-depressant & anxiety meds, and will be for life... but that's a post for another time.)

So, back to the story...  Dave and I sat down tonight with our calendars and planned out some retirement stuff.  His ceremony date is firm (June 10th), but we were playing around with TMO* dates, check-out dates, etc.  Trying to nail down the exact days with P/TAD*, terminal leave, etc.  He has 104 days of terminal leave & P/TAD days.  Sweet!

We hope to leave here around June 20th.  And then he's on leave & P/TAD for the next 104 days.  He's still considered active duty during that time, which means FULL PAYCHECKS for the months of July, August, and September.  By October 1st, he will hopefully have found a job... but if not, his retirement pay will kick in and we'll still have a monthly income.

And it was then that I realized... WE ARE GOING TO BE ALRIGHT.  For some reason I had it in my head that the day we leave VaBeach was the day he'd be out of a job, our money would run out, that we were being cut off, no more paycheck.  Zip.  Zero.  Zilch.  Nada.  I don't know why I was thinking that, because I *KNOW* that isn't how it works.  After 20+ years in the military, I know how this retirement gig works.  I know what happens.   I'm kind of baffled at myself.  I think I just worked myself up into a panic and I wasn't thinking clearly.  *shrug*

Anyway, I had a feeling of complete calm, serenity, & peace come over me when I realized this.  And then I started to get REALLY excited.  

But now I'm just EXCITED.  
And HAPPY.  
And ANXIOUS, but in a good way this time.

Thank you Lord, for helping me to see things clearly!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer
and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
~Philippians 4:6 

*P/TAD (Permissive Temporary Additional Duty) - house hunting, job hunting
*TMO (Transportation Management Office) - arranging the days the moving company come to pack us out and load the truck, etc.


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