Retirement

Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'....

(in)Courage

Four days.  Dave's retirement ceremony is in four days.  These past few weeks have slipped by.  I've lost track of time, even though I've been agonizingly focused on the calendar...  concentrating on all that needed to be done before the retirement and our move... in the process, I lost track of time.  Does that even make sense?  I don't know.


I have been stressing about the amount of stress my husband has been under.  He is worried.  I am worried.  Will he get a job here?  Will he get a job in Wisconsin?  Will we stay?  Will we move?  If we stay here, will we find a place to live in the same school district so the kids don't have to transfer yet again?  So many questions.


My Aunt & Uncle and some of my cousins lived through the Joplin tornados two weeks ago.  They lost everything, but they survived and lived through it.  Thank you Lord! I feel like we are going through a tornado of our own.  Nothing like the real life-and-death version they experienced.  More of a proverbial tornado.... life is whipping us around, pulling us in different directions, I don't know where we're going to land or what condition we'll be in in the end.


And then, today, I read this blog.... it came to me just when I needed it most.


It reminded me that God has a plan.
He is always in control.
He's God.


And I'm not.

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Ease

Dave and I had a some quiet time tonight, which is actually quite unusual.  He gets home from work between 5-6pm, and he devotes most of his time to the kids... they talk about their day at school with him, Dave and Christopher will go outside and toss the ball around, Megan will sit with Dave and color or put together a puzzle, etc.  We eat dinner.  Megan is in bed by 7:30.  And then Dave helps Christopher with homework, which usually takes a couple of hours.  I don't get time with Dave until sometime after 10pm, which is just about the time when he's so exhausted, he can barely keep his eyes open.  So for us to get some quiet time this evening was really nice.


Anyway...


I think I've mentioned once or twice (*snort*) about how nervous and anxious I've been feeling over his retirement.  Serious anxiety.  And I've been really struggling with my depression, to the point that my Psychiatrist wants to adjust and increase my meds.  (I know this is news for some of you... I battle depression.  I am clinically depressed, am on anti-depressant & anxiety meds, and will be for life... but that's a post for another time.)


So, back to the story...  Dave and I sat down tonight with our calendars and planned out some retirement stuff.  His ceremony date is firm (June 10th), but we were playing around with TMO* dates, check-out dates, etc.  Trying to nail down the exact days with P/TAD*, terminal leave, etc.  He has 104 days of terminal leave & P/TAD days.  Sweet!


We hope to leave here around June 20th.  And then he's on leave & P/TAD for the next 104 days.  He's still considered active duty during that time, which means FULL PAYCHECKS for the months of July, August, and September.  By October 1st, he will hopefully have found a job... but if not, his retirement pay will kick in and we'll still have a monthly income.


And it was then that I realized... WE ARE GOING TO BE ALRIGHT.  For some reason I had it in my head that the day we leave VaBeach was the day he'd be out of a job, our money would run out, that we were being cut off, no more paycheck.  Zip.  Zero.  Zilch.  Nada.  I don't know why I was thinking that, because I *KNOW* that isn't how it works.  After 20+ years in the military, I know how this retirement gig works.  I know what happens.   I'm kind of baffled at myself.  I think I just worked myself up into a panic and I wasn't thinking clearly.  *shrug*


Anyway, I had a feeling of complete calm, serenity, & peace come over me when I realized this.  And then I started to get REALLY excited.  


But now I'm just EXCITED.  
And HAPPY.  
And ANXIOUS, but in a good way this time.


Thank you Lord, for helping me to see things clearly!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer

and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

~Philippians 4:6 

*P/TAD (Permissive Temporary Additional Duty) - house hunting, job hunting
*TMO (Transportation Management Office) - arranging the days the moving company come to pack us out and load the truck, etc.





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Happy New Year

Our New Years Eve was much like our Christmas...
It was quiet, calm, relaxing, perfect.

We spent the day cleaning the house, watching football, and ran a few errands.  I got my picture taken for my passport.  (I actually went to the Post Office to apply for my passport, but today was a federal holiday... P.O. was closed.  I was kind of bummed.  *snort*)

We went to 5pm Mass... Dave was the Lector, Christopher was the only Altar Server, I served for Communion, and Megan cheered us all on from the pew.  :)

Home to order pizza... we laughed a lot while watching America's Funniest Videos.  Megan went to bed.  Dave, Christopher, & I had some friendly competition playing wii... a little Lego Rock Band, a round of golf, a couple games of bowling.  We put together a Green Bay Packer puzzle.  Around 11:30pm we settled in to watch the coverage of the New York festivities.  Megan woke up about 11:50pm, and came out to snuggle with me and Dave on the couch.  So we were all together as we watched the ball drop and rang in the new year.

It was a night for FAMILY.  The most important people in my life.  It was quiet, calm, relaxing, comfortable... and I won't have a headache in the morning.  *snort*

Dave and I talked a lot about what this upcoming year has in store for us.  We are facing a life changing event... our safe, insulated, protected lifestyle is going to change in a major way.

I pray every day for patience and ask God to calm my fears and my nerves.
I ask Him to ease Dave's worries and stress.
I pray that Dave doesn't get overwhelmed with all that needs to be done in the next 5 months.
I ask Him to point us in the right direction... and to help us see that direction clearly.  
I pray that we are able to enjoy these last few months, not get bogged down in all the preparation.
I pray that I am able to take each day one day at a time... to enjoy the day, the people, the blessings He has given me that day.
A year from now I do not want to look back and have any regrets from these last few months.


Please Lord, you know our fears, our insecurities, our doubts.  Please calm our hearts and our minds, forgive us our human tendencies.  You said "Do not be afraid"...  help us to remember that YOU are in control.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,

present your request to God.” 

~Philippians 4:6

 

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As time goes by...

Dave is officially eligible to retire today... 20 years of active duty service is on the books.

I seriously can not believe it's been 20 years.

TWENTY.

In that time we got married, had two kids, survived one open-heart surgery, owned 7 cars, been stationed on four different bases (been shuffled back and forth between two of those bases numerous times), driven coast to coast four times, and we've had 11 different addresses. We've learned to celebrate Christmas while wearing shorts and with the A/C running, the kids have grown up playing in both oceans, we've survived a hurricane, an earthquake, and a wildfire.  And then there was 9/11.  We've met a lot of wonderful people, some not-so-wonderful people, and we've made life long friends.  We've celebrated a lot, mourned a lot, laughed a lot, cried a lot, and loved a lot.  We've been so blessed.  It's been an amazing twenty years.

And six months from today is Dave's retirement ceremony.  It's going to be a life changing event... 

I'm nervous, anxious, excited, and scared.  I'm not sure what the future holds for my little family, but I pray the Lord continues to bless us, and that we're able to look back in another 20 years and say it's been even more amazing.

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